And The Phallus
by european coffee addict
Summary: Something is between Max and Caroline, literally. Has Max ruined it or is Caroline just too uptight?


Copyright disclaimer: The characters of 2 Broke Girls are intellectual property right of Michael Patrick King and Whitney Cummings. I'm just borrowing them, but the story is all mine.

Rating disclaimer: M by all means, for some try-sexual content and nasty remarks. If it's not your cuppa coffee, don't drink it. I have warned you.

Summary: Something is between Max and Caroline, literally. Has Max ruined it or is Caroline just too uptight?

**2 Broke Girls and the Phallus.**

**Chapter 1 – Invading Personal Space**

**I.**

Caroline was in an exceptional good mood. This day she really felt with every inch of her body that her live was good. Business was good and private live was good. She didn't even miss Candy Andy any more. Actually, the most important thing was, she had Max.

Max had told her, she loves her as a best friend a few weeks ago. Finally, Caroline thought, she had arrived. She didn't feel like an outsider anymore, what she felt long around Max and in this apartment that she lived in. Now it was not only an abode at Max' place, it was her place, too. It was their home.

She felt pride, because of what she had achieved the last two years or probably that she was still going on and feeling good about herself and about life, despite she had experienced more struggles and failures in these two years than she had the 26 years before. And she felt warmth and joy to call someone tough and straightforward like Max her best friend. For some reason Caroline instantly liked Max, despite her often daunting demeanor.

The fact that Han had let her go earlier than usual, might have contributed to her overflowing joyful mood this evening.

While Caroline was thinking these thoughts and feeling all warm and good her steps towards their apartment accelerated. For some reason she wanted to hug Max right now. She even skipped some steps, hurried upstairs and grabbed the door knob, to open the door. It was locked, which seemed strange to her, because she thought Max must have been back from pastry school already. She took out her key, put it in the lock and turned it around. Then she pushed the door open and there was standing Max.

* * *

**II.**

Caroline might have been puzzled why Max had locked up the door from inside and why she was standing behind the kitchen counter and staring at her as if she was a ghost. But Caroline was too enwrapped in her own thoughts and feelings so as to really taking notice.

Caroline stormed towards Max and simply hugged her, the way they had hugged before and which was an entirely different way of hugging than she had with her friends, when Channing was more than just her name. It was a real hug, a hug that made her feel the other person entirely on her body. And Caroline was not complaining that she felt Max large breasts with her own bosom and chest every time they hugged that way. Caroline Channing was open minded enough to allow herself that little pleasure.

This time she felt something else in addition. It was on her tight and it was something very familiar and yet it was utterly disturbing her right now. The last time she had felt such a thing, it was when she was hanging on Candy Andy's body, French kissing him shortly before they would have sex.

"Oh my gaawwd, Max?!" She exclaimed, letting go of the brunette, nearly shoving her away.

Max was still not moving. She looked at the blonde, her face was unreadable. Then she said in her forced calm tone: "What have I told you, about invading my personal space?"

"I don't know what is going on. I don't know. I'm sorry Max. Can you pl.." Caroline didn't dare to look down at...

"Go and let me alone," Max growled with a raspy, dangerously low voice.

Caroline had never seen Max this intense before. Tears were building up inside her. She turned around on her heels and stormed out of the apartment as fast as she had stormed in a minute earlier.

"Fuck, I hate …" she heard Max swearing when she was already in the hall, but the voice faded and she couldn't hear who the sentence ended.

* * *

**III.**

Caroline stood in front of the apartment building, tears running down her face and dripping on her blouse. She probably was never this confused before in her live. Okay probably she was, when she learned that her father was arrested and all their estate was confiscated.

Suddenly she was gently pushed away by Sophie. The huge Polish lady, who made even voluptuous Max look nearly like a flat teenager, eyed Caroline.

"Let me in fast, I really need to pee." With small hurried steps Sophie went past the younger woman.

Then she stopped and turned around. "Oooohhh, why are you crying, Caroline?"

"Yeah, I.. I..," Caroline tried to find words.

"Listen, I can't talk to you right now, I really need to pee and I don't want to do a golden shower right here." She paused. "Although I could, but…" She shook her head. " Well girl, if you want to, you can come with me. I mean to my apartment to talk, not to the toilet. Only Oleg does that." Sophie grinned happily.

Caroline shrugged her shoulders. Probably it was a good idea to talk to Sophie. She was just the right person for such topics with all her outspoken and try-elated attitude.

* * *

**IV.**

When Sophie had done, what she had to do in the bathroom, she came to the living room in an even happier mood. "Much better now," she reported. "So what is blondie making upset, tell Mommy."

Caroline sight heavy. "I have hugged Max," she started.

"Oooohhhh and that is making you cry? You rich girls are so pathetic." Sophie let out a hearty laughter.

"Sophie," the blond begged. "It's erious. I hugged her and I know she has mixed feelings toward any kind of closeness. That was not even the problem, although she was mad at me, because I intruded her personal space. It was…" Caroline exhaled.

Sophie looked at her. Her normally grinning face that made Caroline think more than once Sophie was popping some strange pills had softened and she studied the young blond intently.

Caroline tried again. "You know the feeling, when you embrace a man, who has an erection?"

Sophie grinned again. "Oooohhh, sure, I had that just yesterday in the evening, when Oleg came over. He hugged me and the rather hard thing pressing on my lap told me that he was quite happy to see me."

"See! Exactly that's what I mean."

"Noooo, that is not possible," Sophie pulled a face. "I have seen Oleg naked and I have seen Max naked. There is a seven inch difference, at least."

Caroline had no nerve to wonder right now, why Sophie had seen Max naked. "I swear, it was just like it. I was also like 'That's not possible'. And in some reflex I pushed her away and said 'Oh my god'. She looked so pissed and… hurt, but I mean, how can she...?"

What Caroline wasn't telling Sophie was that she was having a plethora of contradicting emotions, due to the incident. She felt confused, appalled, curious, ashamed and a little bit turned on, when she recalled the hard bulge brushing against her thigh.

Now Sophie looked as if she would concentrate. "Well, than Max was wearing a strap-on." She reasoned.

"Hell no," Caroline exclaimed.

"Have you seen it directly?"

"Hell no!"

"And how can you say it was not a strap-on?" Sophie retorted.

It was not as if Caroline Channing had never heard of such a thing like a strap-on before. In fact, she had once clicked through pornhub, when she found out Max was watching that on a regular basis. It didn't take her long to come across some videos, in which women were pleasuring other women with a dildo that was, well, strapped on. Caroline had watched these videos with a mixture of astonishment and growing arousal, before she closed the browser entirely, because she was still too much Channing to need to indulge in such ordinary pleasure, she thought at that time.

In some way Caroline knew a strap-on was the only logical explanation. However, having to deal with such a 'thing' in real life and regarding Max, was confusing her too much in order to think properly on her own.

After Sophie had mentioned it, "But why would she wear such a thing.. I mean do.. wear.. err…"

The much bigger woman raised her hands in defense. "How can I know, when even you don't know? I mean you are her girlie girlfriend."

"I'm not her girlie girlfriend," Caroline protested.

"Whatsoever." Sophie grinned and waved jovially with her jellery-beringed hands. "You two share the same bathroom and sometimes the same bed, I know that. If you don't know about her private life, who does?"

"How can you know that we might share a bed?" Caroline was getting back to her composed self for now.

"Well, whenever I miss the big bang from your apartment in the evening, I know you have not pulled out your vagina bed, which means you're sleeping in Max' bed, with Max… Oleg uses to say another big bang is going to happen instead."

"First of all, I'm not sleeping with Max! Second what do you say, if I tell you that I have my own private life and am not at home every evening?"

Sophie broke into her hearty laughter and gave Caroline a playful slap on her arm. "You're kidding me?" Sophie broke into an uncontrollable roar of laughter.

Then she suddenly stopped. "Okay blondie, you need to talk to Max." She paused and looked like she would think again. "But probably not tonight. Give you some time to chill out."

"Yeah." Caroline sighed heavily. "I think now I really need a drink, a big and cheap one"


End file.
